


You Gotta Be Kitten Me

by amadeuplove



Category: Glee
Genre: Dog Anderson-Smythe, M/M, Strong Language, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-19
Updated: 2012-05-19
Packaged: 2017-11-05 15:01:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/407800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amadeuplove/pseuds/amadeuplove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt from anon: Blaine brings home a cat when Sebastian wanted a dog. He eventually warms up to it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Gotta Be Kitten Me

**Day 1**

A cat. Blaine adopted a cat from the rescue shelter to mark their one year anniversary of living in their first apartment together (been together for five). 

“Blaine, you know we were talking about getting a dog in March. You practically cry every time we walk by the pet store on Main Street and don’t go in to pet them! Why the hell do we need a cat?”

Blaine smiled, holding the black cat with white paws up to his face and kissing the top of its head. “She’s cuuute! Come on, Sebastian, the shelter said she’s a few days shy of being a year old. When she’s ten, we’ll have been here ten years. She’s meant to be here.”

Sebastian watched the cat stare back at him with bright green eyes, trying to decide how easy it would be to get food from him. Sebastian would not give in. Blaine was taking that thing back to the shelter by the weekend or else. 

“I’m allergic.”

“You are not!”

“…Fine. But if we keep it-- _if_ —then you can pay for all its liter and food. I want no part in this.”

Blaine smiled proudly, rocking the cat gently in his arms as it clung to him. “Sounds perfect. I wouldn’t have you paying for something you’re allergic to, anyway. But come on, she’s like a practice baby. And when she’s older, she’ll be able to babysit. You don’t want to be a part of our first child’s life?”

Raising an eyebrow, Sebastian came over to him as soon as he let the cat down to the floor, wrapping his arms around him. “You know, lately I’m not sure if anything you say is serious. Which part of what you just said is serious?”

Blaine grinned, leaning up to kiss Sebastian’s cheek and letting his lips linger on his neck. “Mmm, all of it…”

Sebastian’s heart leaped at the idea of having a kid with Blaine. They’d been together through most of college, they both had good jobs… Almost everything seemed to be easy. Blaine made it that way. Maybe after a few more years of getting to know each other, they’d really settle down. When Sebastian was twenty-one, the word ‘settled’ made him shudder. He’d come along way with Blaine in the last two years.

“Even about the cat babysitting a real baby? I don’t think so…”

Blaine laughed softly, wrapping a leg around Sebastian’s thighs, smiling when Sebastian held his hips tighter in preparation for what Blaine was about to do. “You should name her, so she can be yours too in some way.”

Sebastian held Blaine tightly up by the thighs as soon as he leaped into his arms, Blaine wrapping his arms around Sebastian’s neck to make sure he didn’t fall off him. Sebastian leaned against the wall for better support as Blaine smiled innocently at him. “Cat name. Go.”

“Dog.”

Blaine’s eyebrows furrowed, clinging to Sebastian tighter when Sebastian started walking towards the bedroom with him.

“But it’s a cat.”

“And you asked me to name it, so Dog.”

Blaine frowned as Sebastian plopped him down on their bed, watching Sebastian as he shut the door after he made sure the cat wasn’t in the room.

“That’s kind of mean, don’t you think? She’ll never live up to her name, because she can’t be a dog.”

Sebastian sighed, spreading his arms out as soon as he laid down on the bed. “We should always be striving for more. One day, she’ll realize that she doesn’t need to be a dog to be great. Her name will always encourage her to remember that.”

Smirking, Blaine rolled on top of him and straddled his waist as he sat up. “Well, Mr. Smythe, looks like you should take your own advice. …And connect with Dog. She never did anything to you.”

Kisses. No more kisses for Blaine.

Sebastian leaned up, holding the small of Blaine’s back with his hand to keep him from falling back on the bed. He stared at him until he was sure Blaine was done talking and then turned them around so Sebastian was on top of him.

“No more talking about the cat until the morning. You know I don’t like pussy. We’ll see how she does with us for a few days, but if she’s annoying, then she’s going back.”

Blaine bit his lip and pulled that obnoxious smirk that always meant he was thinking the opposite of what he said. “All right, honey. Whatever you want.”

Sebastian pretended to ignore the smirk and let his hands roam under Blaine’s shirt to pull it off him. “I want you.”

“And Dog.” Blaine smiled. “Dog wants you to love her.”

_Don’t give in. Don’t give in. Whatever you do, don’t give—_

Sebastian’s inner dialogue shut off as soon as he felt Blaine’s hips arch up.

——

**Day 2**

Sebastian was home before Blaine for once. Interesting. 

As if on cue, a text from Blaine suddenly asked Sebastian to feed Dog and change her water. 

Sebastian looked down at the small black cat and waved his hand in an unenthusiastic manner, but there were negative consequences to that. Dog meowed and rubbed up against his foot, plopping on the kitchen floor in an attempt to get him to pet her. 

“No.” Sebastian said, walking away from the cat to sit on the couch and turn his favorite channel on. 

Soon enough, Dog was peeking her head into the living room, staring Sebastian down in a stealthy manner. He looked up and stared at her until she popped her head back into the kitchen.

“Stupid cat.” He mumbled, turning the volume up.

Thirty minutes later, he heard a chair from the kitchen fall over and Dog ran into the living room looking like she had just seen a ghost. Sebastian couldn’t help but laugh at the cat’s expression, getting up to see what she’d done. He pulled the chair back up and went back into the living room to see the cat had curled up in the exact spot he’d been sitting.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

——

**Day 3**

“Dog was scratching at the door all night last night. You didn’t hear? I could barely sleep, but I was too lazy to get up.” 

Blaine came over to sit at the kitchen table with Sebastian as they both were eating breakfast before work. “Aww! You didn’t let her in? Sebastian! Come on, it’s winter. She could warm the bed.”

“She needs to go.”

“You called her by her respectable name, I see. I think she’s growing on you.”

Sebastian looked up from his breakfast and attempted to glare at Blaine, but he knew he couldn’t. Not when Blaine was smiling so brightly at seven in the morning.

When Sebastian got home from work, he seemed to have beaten Blaine again. Not needing the text, he went to feed Dog her dinner and change her water, leaving the liter box to be cleaned by Blaine. As soon as he pulled the food out of the cupboard, Dog came running into the kitchen, almost pushing Sebastian out of the way as she went for her food dish.

“Watch the fuck out, cat. I’ll trip on you, and you’ll probably die because you’re so tiny. What’s your problem, anyway?”

Dog didn’t look up from her food. She ignored Sebastian. She was _purposely_ ignoring him.

“Oh, yeah? Well, looks like somebody’s never trying tuna. Or, you know, the mercury will do you some good. Maybe we’ll only let you eat the highest fat content of canned foods and you’ll be the fattest cat in the entire world. Blaine will love you more, because there will be more of you. How’s that?”

Dog left her food dish as soon as the food was gone and walked across the living room, heading into Blaine and Sebastian’s room. The door was open when it wasn’t supposed to be. 

Sebastian ran over to the room, but it was too late, Dog was under the bed, staring back at him as he crouched down to try to reach for her. 

“No, you cannot be in here! I sleep here! If you don’t come out, we’re taking you back right now.”

They stared each other down for a few more seconds, but then, miraculously, Dog slowly crawled out from under the bed and sat by the door, looking back at Sebastian.

“…Okay then.” He looked down at Dog for a few moments in heavy contemplation. “Let’s go watch TV on the couch, and when Blaine comes in, this never happened.”

Dog meowed and Sebastian took it as an agreement. They went and watched _CSI: Las Vegas_ until Blaine came home.

——

**Day 4**

On Sunday morning, Blaine left a note on the bed to say that he went jogging already since he didn’t want Sebastian to join him, thinking that his muscles were probably still a bit sore from last nights activities and that he should rest longer. 

“You couldn’t have just texted me that or told me later when you actually got back?” He sighed and rolled his eyes in a playful manner, thinking Blaine’s small ways of trying to be cute as, well, cute.

He found Dog curled up on the couch where Sebastian usually sat. She opened her eyes and watched Sebastian make his away to the kitchen as he made himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Brunch of champions.

She found him just as he was putting his supplies away, rubbing up against his foot like she had the second day. “Why do you like doing that? It’s my foot. That’s disgusting.” She plopped down at it, rubbing her head against the tiled floor as her body laid on his foot. 

“What the _fuck_ , cat?” He laughed, staring down at her in amusement. He looked at the peanut butter still on the knife and swiped some of it off, reaching down to give her some. She only stared at him curiously for a minute before getting off his foot and tilting her head up to lick the peanut butter off his finger. “There you go… Fatass cat…”

He picked her up and carried her, along with his sandwich, to the couch and placed her on his lap as he turned the TV on, waiting for Blaine to get back from his jog. He probably could have joined him, but nah. Sunday brunch with Dog was better than exerting his muscles that have already been exerted enough until Tuesday at least.

A few minutes later, Blaine came home, sweaty as Sweaty Blaine usually is, and one stare at Dog and she got the message. She hopped off Sebastian’s lap and headed to the door to greet Blaine.

Sebastian smiled. This cat already acted like a dog and her name was Dog. Maybe this would work out.

“Aw, hey Doggie, how’s your morning goinggg?” Blaine cooed, petting Dog by the door. “‘Bastian? Are you up?”

“No, Blaine. I’m talking in my sleep.”

“Aw, that’s good.” He walked into the living room, ignoring Sebastian since he was obviously still sleeping, and sat down on the carpet to pet Dog who eagerly plopped down on the floor to get pet. “I think Sebastian likes you now.” Blaine whispered, gently scratching behind her ear. “We did good work.”

Sebastian sighed, turning off the TV as he finished the last bite of his sandwich. “Sleeping Sebastian can hear you, you know.”

Blaine smiled and came over to the couch, standing in front of the coffee table and staring playfully at his partner. “Oh? Why is Sebastian on the couch then? Shouldn’t he be in bed?”

It was Sunday, after all. It’d been an interesting week with the cat and everything. Work was getting harder. He could do with a nap after just waking not an hour ago.

“He should be. You’re right.” Sebastian closed his eyes and got up from the couch, walking easily into their bedroom since there wasn’t much in his way. 

Blaine gently placed the cat on the bed and sighed. “I need a shower first.”

Sebastian nodded with his eyes closed, fluffing his pillow up with one hand. 

When Blaine returned ten minutes later from his shower, Sebastian had an arm around Dog, and they were both peacefully asleep. Blaine smirked and walked quietly over to the bed, seeing that as soon as he made a dip in the bed, Dog’s eyes were opened and she stared at Blaine curiously, as if he were going to force her to get up.

“No, I think it’ll be the three of us in the bed from now on, Doggie.” Blaine whispered, smiling over at his first child.

Sebastian probably wouldn’t admit to actually liking Dog for a few months, but he knew that eventually, they would get to have family pictures and Sebastian would clean the liter box if Blaine was ever too lazy to do it.

The three cuddled close and didn’t wake up until dinner time. Not needing an explanation, Sebastian was the one to feed Dog her dinner, and even took a picture of himself with Dog Anderson-Smythe for all of Facebook to see who their new roommate was.

——

**Day 368**

“Sebastian! You’re going to be late for work!”

Sebastian frowned, petting Dog on the couch with his suit on. “But Blaine, it’s been over a year since Dog got us! We didn’t celebrate the other day like we were supposed to! And she’s going to be all alone for hours!”

Blaine glared over at Sebastian, sighing as he opened the door. “Seriously, sometimes, I think you love that cat more than me. She’ll be fine. She’s a dog—I mean a cat. Dammit.”

Sebastian smirked, getting up from the couch after kissing Dog on the head. He came over to the door and did the same thing to Blaine’s head, letting his lips linger on Blaine’s forehead. “I love you more than Dog… almost.”

Blaine glared. “Go. I forgot my keys.” 

Sebastian smiled, pecking Blaine on the lips before leaving the apartment as to not be late for work. Blaine walked back in the house, grabbing his keys from the counter and staring down at Dog who looked curiously up at him. He winked and bent down to scratch her ear again. “You know I’m just pretending to be grumpy, right, Doggie? If Sebastian thinks that I think it’s cute that he loves you, then it’ll just make him pissy. We’re smarter than him, right?”

Dog meowed.

Blaine smiled.

——


End file.
